Wednesday, April 18, 2007

The super seventies

I've had this great idea for a tv drama series...

A half-empty stand of Palace fans drifts off into a deep slumber as Peter Taylor's lumbering beasts plod through another grim second half of back-passing and trying to hold on for a draw. When the fans wake up they're myseriously back in 1973!

Are they in a coma (very probably), back in time or just mad (we are the Palace, we're mad)?

As they regain consciousness, they're amazed to find Palace playing in white with claret and blue vertical bands. Their seats have vanished and they're in a packed enclosure full of laughing, joking, swearing blokes and there's a man in a car coat smoking a woodbine shouting: 'Don't stand for it Yogi, thump the bleedin' great northern poof!'

The ball is white, the ref's in black, there are no adverts on shirts, the top of the Arthur Wait stand has a clock and nothing else, the football goes from end to end with Alan Whittle, Don Rogers and Paddy Mulligan displaying silky skills, the players are getting stuck in, giving it their all. The vast crowd is cheering them on and thoroughly enjoying themselves.

Can the modern Palace fans get back to their own time? Why the fuck would they want to?

I think I'll call this series after a David Bowie song... given how happy we all are these days, I was thinking of Queen Bitch. Whaddya reckon?

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